Thursday, October 27, 2011

Team Building @ Jozi X - October 2011

Ah there's nothing like a little team building to bring out the best in everyone!
And this was nothing like that!
A bunch of computer jocks and an obstacle course... you just know this is going to get interesting...

Monday, October 17, 2011

14 October 2011 - Divorce Day!!!

Now a Friday is a lovely creature as it is, full of hopes and expectations and the promise of a flavourful weekend. But this one was, like your daft cousin Nammy, just a little extra special.

This one was... DIVORCE DAY!! Dum dum DUM!!!!

I'd been waiting for it all week and it was finally here!!!!! And we were finally going to do this!!!!! It was a day of a a heck of a lot of exclamation marks!!!!! I think I talked non-stop from well near beginning to end and by evening my face actually hurt from smiling too much. Who knew something like that could happen?

I was up early, bright eyed and bushy haired and ready for the day! After over a year of waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting and just a bit more waiting, it was finally time to snip this septic rose in the bud!

Okay so we got to the court really, really early and had to stand and wait outside with a few other hopefuls for the doors to be opened and our dreams to be made flesh.

One of the warnings on this here fine piece of glass is one telling you that you are not allowed to take photos without permission. I decided I'd ponder that later after I took all the pics. It's a lot easier to ask forgiveness then permission!

This is the door to what I, rather unoriginally, call 'The Divorce Room!' (Said in a scary sounding stage whisper!!). You get applications for divorce, where you fill in all the grizzly details of why your marriages is doomed to failure and then stack your case file with all the other unhappy stories weighing down the shelves there in. The sights and stories that the people working there must have witnessed...

Just after I snuck this photo they put up a white sheet of paper, they never do the same colour twice it seems, with a list of everyone who was due for court. I was 3rd on the list! Bronze medal woohoo!!! (Hey they took ages getting ready for us, I had to keep my imagination busy.)

Okay about now you are wondering just what my obsession with taking photos of doors is. (All with brightly coloured bit's of paper stuck on it seems). But the fact of the matter is the day was mostly about us waiting in front of doors to get things done. I'm sure if I was in the timber industry it would have been fascinating. "By George lad, 'tis sold genuine fake walnut that is!"

This is the rather understated door to the court where we'd go to tell our tales and be heard by a judge. You have to admit it's a little unimpressive. No intimidating towers or bad art work or columns where criminals had etched their last word and testament. Kempton court is not about flair.

Yay, I managed to get this pic before they told us to turn all cellphones off! I like to think that makes it a perfectly legal (pardon the pun) pic to have taken!

This is inside of the courtroom. I'd like to say it was minutes before the judge came in, but we sat and waited for AGES before she appeared. I Was half nervous, half excited and as a result the most talkative person in the room. There were only 10 - 12 of us in the whole court. It was very snug and appealing, so may I recommend Kempton Court for all your divorce needs?

Finally the judge, a small yet severe, looking Indian woman, came in and we all stood and looked respectful of the law. (We weren't told what her name was! I felt a bit gyp'd at that! Should they say, the Honourable Judge Whatsamaface presiding? I mean hello, don't they watch TV?)

There were two cases before me. One was a guy who got married on THE SAME DAY as I was!
I whispered to Rob that it was a cursed day!!
Then there was a woman who'd been married in the SAME MONTH as I was!
I whispered to Rob that it was a cursed month!!
Then it was my turn and no more whispering which I think Rob was kind of glad of.

Cor but you are nervous up on the podium where you testify! Everyone is watching you and you have to answer all sorts of semi-intimate questions on - where do you live? Is this your marriage certificate? And the one that never fails to grip the audience's attention, tell the court why you are getting a divorce? I'm not telling you what I said, you had your chance to come with! But I managed to do pretty well! (Though I kept saying 'Yip' instead of 'Yes', I blame bad internet chat habits for that, yip I do!)

Then the judge pronounced, after getting my ex-spouse's gender wrong a few times, that the court has heard my tale of woe and deems that, BAM, I am divorced and that whatever property we own is now ours exclusively and if you never see your ex again ever ever ever, well, shucks too bad!!

We were then dismissed and we bowed to the judge and left. (My now-truely-official-ex was worried I'd not want to bow to the judge. Silly rabbit. I'd have donned a bear costume and danced a 'Hey nonny nonny' if it was required!)

And that was it!
Done and dusted!!!
3 weeks later I pick up the divorce decree, which I can then show off to friends and neighbours and random surprised looking people in the streets!

I don't recommend having a divorce, you know, just for poops and giggles but if you do, well this is one way to do it!

Now onwards to new adventures, new relationships and, hopefully, not a new divorce! (I don't want to be spoilt you know...)

Happy Freedom Day!!!