All about Lesbians! Yay!!

Let’s face it, what do you really know about lesbians and being a lesbian if you’re not one yourself? I bet you ask yourself that a lot? If not you should cause it’s awfully interesting!
Well I am one! (If this comes as a shock then someone has not been paying attention...) So I thought I’d make a nice list of all the sub-sections of Lesbian-hood for you to peruse and maybe help explain a myth or two, free of charge! If nothing else it will make a great ice breaker at your next office party!

DYKE: Still sometimes considered a derogatory term often used by angry guys. It basically means, “Hey, you’re a chick that digs chicks and we’re bloody jealous ‘cause you’ve probably had more girls then we’ll ever have combined!”

BULL DYKE: is used to describe vicious, big, mean-looking women who look like they could snap your neck with a pinky finger. (Generally it’s not said to their faces though, for that particular reason...)

BUTCH: “Masculine” like, more stocky, short-haired woman are generally seen as butch. This is the one everyone most equates as being a gay woman. Straight folk do love to point out the first short haired, fat woman in a T-shirt and yell, “LESBIAN!” (Right till she turns around and they’re like, “Ooops, sorry mum!”)

STONE BUTCH: Appear very masculine, often cross dressing to extremes. They tend to prefer to be “Tops” and aren’t much into receiving sex.

BABY BUTCH: Often used for younger women who are trying to be butch. (18 – 21 yrs old is the norm). They’re often cocky but unsure of themselves and you just want to ruffle their hair and say, “Awww, ooo’s a cootie den?” (I should mention they’re not too fond of this...)

SOFT BUTCH: women with short hair and a butchy-like look that still have a girlish way of acting. Sometimes they’re seen as more Femme, the lines here are sort of blurry and in need of a good repainting!





FEMME: The more girly lesbians that guys “know for a fact” aren’t really gay, right? Right??? Long hair***, dresses, heels and even make up are all tools of their trade. (The most girly girl being known as LIPSTICK LESBIANS).

***Really if you think about it, the category you fall into has a lot to do with hair! Short = Butch, long = Femme and mullet = Just Plain Wrong!



ANDROGENOUS: Usually used to describe a woman who looks very boyish. Often the short hair, slim bodied, T-shirt and sneakers variety. Personally I think they’re gorgeous but I’m biased to my wife so there you go! ^_^

BISEXUAL: A bisexual is any woman who also sleeps with men. When guys say, “Hey can I join / watch you two ladies?” he should be hoping like mad they are bisexual as genuine lesbians tend to then make faces similar to that of someone who has stepped in something too horrifying for words!

LONE STAR: A lone star lesbian is, first off, not a lesbian from Texas! They are women who’ve only had one girlfriend. Either it’s her first relationship ever or her first girlfriend since before being with guys.

GOLD STAR: Gold Star Lesbians are women who have never "experimented" with men. We knew straight (or not so straight actually...) away that we were into girls and the guys could go snog badgers for all we care. (Except the Greenpeace sort that aren’t keen on people doing things like that...) Gold Star lesbians tend to be very smug, mostly because we’re so damn cool!

And here are a few myths busted just to make you seem like an expert! God I should be charging for this!

1. Few lesbians hate men – sure the militant feminists do but they hate everyone! I’ve found more straight girls tend to hate guys then we do! I suspect it’s because they have to sleep with them and put up with their kak, while we get a “get out of jail free” pass.

2. Few lesbians are sexually abused – People love this one, I often get asked, “So what guy hurt you to make you this way?” And they seem dead disappointed when I mention the worst abuse I’ve ever had is my brother pulling my hair in a fight over He-man dolls (which I won). And if you think about it, if every woman who’s been sexually harassed by a bloke were to go gay, there’d be damn few straight ones left!

3. Lesbians don’t need toys for sex – Again guys mostly seem to think we need huge, T-Rex, glow in the dark strap-ons for a good love life. Mostly we just use what god gave us and leave the toys to those who wish to experiment. I often find that guys who find this hard to believe either watch too much porn or have no real knowledge of the female body.

4. You can become straight if you have the right man – Does that mean guys can become gay if they have the right man too? Why not go try and get back to me on that one...

TADA!! My goodness, look at all the stuff you’ve learnt today! Jo – educating the nation!



^_^